i went looking for the post that i thought i wrote when i founded this blog. as it turns out, it doesn't exist.

so let me be brief.

this is a place that i created to let myself go. a place where i could write only for myself. but then i told someone who i knew that it existed. and another. now, i can count the number of people who know the face behind this blog on one hand. so it's not public knowledge, many of my best friends know nothing of it. it's not something that i do lightly. but i don't want this to be some kind of private diary. that's not what it's about.

but now... lately, my writing has been terrible. really bad. and i think it's because i am writing for an audience. and i believe deeply that to be a good writer, a really good one, you can't be writing for anyone. so this shit stops now. we're getting back to the center, back to the source.

this is a place for me to be whatever i feel. it may be ugly, pretty, mean, kind, whatever. i will say things that i would never say in meatspace. i will be many people. i will explore what i think it is to be human.

you will know when i fail, it will be painfully obvious. and i will fail a lot. but don't hold me (my person) to this. that's not what it's for. it's a window into me (or maybe the window i look out of), but it is not me. if you know me (my person), and don't want to read this (because it may be very ugly), then please don't.

to do this right, i cannot give a shit. and i will not hold back.