i let myself hate him a little bit for the first time. it didn't feel good. but it made me angry, and that felt right. not good. just right.

my drunkenness of last night was appalling. completely embarrassing. apparently you can say whatever you want to when standing in the middle of the street. also, you can get in a yelling argument about (kill me now) the requirement of strife for passion. it was retarded. i hereby accept this golden shortbus award with bowed head and burning ears. may the committee take pity on me and be gentle.

see, the thing is, because of his bullshit, she is pinned. she can't go to a movie. she can't talk to me freely. i didn't just lose a lover, i fucking lost a friend. and that pisses me off. i want to talk to her because she is the only one i can talk to about some things. she is one of my best friends (the? perhaps.), and we're still acting like teenagers who got yelled at by dad.

on a good note, my headache did actually wear off.

on another good note, i got some record purchases in the mail. xela, klaxons, dutty, phil kieran. the dutty record put me in a good mood. it's loud. xela made me sad, but that's what xela does.
i think it's time to go to the springs and rinse out my consciousness. get rid of some of this weight. this pressure.