i know that i need to write every day if this thing is going to work. why is that so goddamn hard? finding the time? no. finding words? i seem to do that fine. maybe it's that i don't think i am very interesting. maybe.

calculus is amazing. it is a really elegant system. i really enjoy how it works, unfortunately, i don't remember the rudimentary stuff. i don't remember the algebra of exponents or the trig identities. shit, i don't even remember what inverse tangent is.

that doesn't mean it isn't awesome. it is. truely.

i am not into being in a relationship right now and i don't know how to deal with it. i mean, we live in the same house and everything, we share so much... this is why fear of commitment can be valid. i'm just too in the moment, i guess. fucking sucks.